Relationships

Don’t be a cold shoulder:- Supporting a loved one during a tough time.

Seeing anybody go through a tough time can impact us, and when it’s the person you love, it will have a bigger impact than we ever thought. Your loved ones, regardless of the experience they are going through, require our support and attention in one way or another, but it’s difficult to offer help if they won’t let you in. So how can you be supporting in this respect, but still establish boundaries? Let’s try and answer the question.

Establishing The Root Cause

Sometimes we know the cause, sometimes we don’t. The fact is that trying to establish the root cause can be painful for a lot of people, but for people that go through therapy, getting to the root of the problem is the idea behind letting go of the problem that has been casting a shadow over their life. The other thing to bear in mind is that this may be a problem that has been going on for a lot longer than you realise, and it may just be coming to the surface now, such as an impact on their mental health as a result of their workplace or something that was beyond their control. If you look at personal injury attorney Ross Mirian’s website, there is an insightful article on the causes of psychological disabilities and how they impact people’s ability to work and that it can take on different forms. Conditions like depression or anxiety can take many different forms, and if you’re loved one has been masking these symptoms, then getting to the root cause should be a goal, but it may take some time to get there.

Sometimes People Need A Hug…

Yes, they may appear standoffish, or reluctant to have any physical contact, but the fact is that sometimes people need that sense of closeness just so they know that everything is going to be okay. It’s your job to look out for them and to respect the boundaries, but be ready for some physical comfort if they so need it. It’s a little gesture, but this little hug may be all they need right now. You might not feel you are doing much, but a simple hug will mean a lot. You don’t have to think of the right thing to say sometimes, just being there is enough.

The Clouds Will Lift!

When people are going through a tough time it can be very difficult to weather the storm. It can feel like that they will never get out of this frame of mind, and it can be difficult for you to remain strong for them. But the solution is to wait for the right time when they will feel a bit better, it’s at this point to lend a hand or recommend that they get some extra help. It is pointless when they are gripped in the vice of anxiety or grief, but these things do pass, and you need to ride it out.

It’s easier said than done to remain supportive to someone you love, especially if the issues go on for a long time, but it’s important that you have the inner strength to support them, as they don’t right now. It can be a very difficult time, and so it’s important that it doesn’t affect you in a psychological sense, so if you feel weighed down by anything, be sure to speak to someone who will lend a sympathetic ear. Ultimately you are trying to do your best by lending your support, and if you can do this to the best of your ability, this will be enough right now.

Love your Mum…

As we all get older and journey through our adult lives, we might find that our contact with our family dwindles. Sometimes, building our own family, balancing a life and career as well as keep on top form regarding our own personal romances or duties can make us simply forget those we love. This isn’t due to any form of incompetency, or even maliciousness, it’s simply what happens when we have so much to think about in one day that there aren’t enough hours to fit it all in. You might find that your relationship to one of your parents might have fallen off in recent years. It’s up to you as a child to rekindle it.

Remember, we all owe our parents much. They taught us the framework for how we operate in the world now, and they kept us safe and fed as children. As such, it’s only right that we make use of our own personal ability to maintain our relationship. This guide will focus on the mother’s of our lives. Mothers bring us into the world, shower us with maternal affection and love, and think about us often. These tips will help you keep them as a prominent force in your life, and help them feel loved, cherished and desired, which they of course always are.

Spend time together

Your most valuable resource in any field of life is your time, and so choosing to spend it with your mother will no doubt help her feel desired and loved. You don’t need to plan anything significant around it, or even leave your or her home. Sometimes, grabbing a cup of tea and cakes from the local cafe is enough.

Sometimes, inviting them to a simple walk around the shops is enough. Spending the time is key, no matter if you simply sit on the sofa and watch a bad television movie together. It will never escape her that you are making the effort, and she will love you for it, especially when ageing. If you can, make sure that you organise any siblings you have around meeting your mother as well, because she will desire more than anything to see you all in the same place and doing well by one another.

Treat her

Sometimes the only way we can truly show our appreciation is by purchasing our parent gifts that show how much we truly care. It doesn’t matter what form of gift you buy, but purchasing it from a classy retailer such as cuckooland can help you find the most suitable items within a certain theme, and can help you provide that ‘wow factor’ with unique items that might not be found in your local shopping mall. It shows you have gone the extra mile to source something quirky that you believe she will enjoy.

Listen to her

Your mother is your mother, and she always will be. As such, she will probably either voice advice often or at least want to. This might seem annoying or unwarranted sometimes, but it’s most likely never done out of maliciousness. It’s simply the maternal urge that she will never lose, and you will no doubt relate to this if you have children of your own. In this case, listening to her will at least help her feel like you take her words with significance, even if you don’t act on them.

Keeping on top of these tips will help you nurture the relationship to your mother throughout all of your adulthood, and it will stay strong as you both age.

A match made in Heaven starts on an equal footing

Relationships are best on a level playing field. While the man was once in control, the same can’t be said in the modern day. This is good, of course, and a sure sign that the role of women is improving. But, it does lead to confusion where dating is concerned. As this is still new, both you and your potential partners may find it difficult to get things off the ground in the right way. And, that’s an obvious setback when the start of a relationship has a significant impact on how things progress.

A Match Made In Heaven Starts On An Equal Footing

A look back to the not so distant future is all it takes to see how much dating has changed. A ‘traditional’ man would make the decisions, pay the bills, and open the car door for his lovely lady. Now though, few women look for those qualities. In fact, most would get irritated by a man taking control that way.

But, let’s give the guys a break. Often, they fall back on these tried and tested methods due to uncertainty. Many men are torn between being chivalrous, and not wanting to offend their date. As such, it’s more important than ever for women to set the tone. We’re the ones who have experienced the main change. As such, it’s down to us to lay the ground rules.

First, it’s important to consider what you’re after. If you want the wined and dined experience, that’s fine. The power is still with you because you’ve made that decision. For the majority of us, though, that no longer appeals. Think about how your dream date would go. Then, set about making it happen.

Your new role starts during the planning stages. While the man was once responsible for choosing what you did on your first dates, that’s no longer the case. Now, you both have an equal responsibility. If you throw in some date suggestions, your man will see straight away that you don’t want him to take charge. Of course, many of us aren’t used to deciding on date locations. If that’s the case, let him pick the first date. This will give you a good idea of what he enjoys, and leave you in a better position moving forward. Then, take a look at something like these second date ideas to inspire you when your turn comes around. Think, too, about anything he mentioned during the first date. Any knowledge about what he enjoys will help.

The other thing that most confuses dating is who pays. Men are no longer obliged to pay the bill, and nor should they be. It’s an outdated concept which suggests women can’t pay their way. Not the case! But, some men still offer to pay through fear of offending. Make things clear to him by reaching for your purse when the bill comes. Paying for your half will show him that you’re strong, independent, and able to stand on your own two feet. What man doesn’t want a woman like that?

Bloom the green fingered date night from Just Us Box

Bloom was our latest date night from Just Us Box. This months box was inspired by the British garden during the spring when all the flowers are at full bloom, bursting with beautiful colours and scents.

I was super excited about this box as I had seen little clues over on their Instagram, little terrariums, plants and flowers. I couldn’t wait to open up the box and find out what was inside.

What’s in the box?

Date Night From Just Us BoxI found another box packed full of exciting things, soil, mosses, gravel, stones, activation charcoal, two of the cutest little terrariums, mini succulents all for making the perfect little terrarium. There was also a wild flower vase, pendants, a flower press, flowering jasmine tea, and a jar of little bits to add to your terrarium.

Date Night From Just Us Box

Our Bloom date night.

The date night for us started as always with a large glass of wine and a yummy meal. We then opened up the box and got started building our own little terrariums. Making sure we followed the instructions, adding the gravel, then the sphagnum moss, followed by charcoal and soil. Then the fun part of planting the cutest little succulent plants and adding any little extras to make it all look pretty.

Date-Night-From-Just-Us-BoxIt was really quite tricky to plant the succulents into the soil, after adding the soil, moss, gravel there wasn’t to much space to get the plants in along with fingers to actually plant them. All part of the green fingered experience though I guess. After they were planted and had lost of couple of leaves we added in the stones and pillow moss to make it come to life. We were both really impressed with what we had achieved.

We didn’t make the little clay items to go into them because by this time I was just so in love with my mini terrarium I didn’t want to add anything else to it.

Date-Night-From-Just-Us-Box

I remember pressing flowers as a child with my Mum, using books then forgetting they were there and finding them months later perfectly pressed. Anyway we didn’t press any flowers during our date as I hadn’t ready the date night book before hand and seen that they needed to done before the date. So we have said that we shall press some flowers with our little girl when the summer flowers come out in bloom.

Looking through the box I spotted little gold packages of fortune cookies. Wondering what our futures hold, we opened them up, to find flower bulbs. Slightly disappointed to not find our fortunes, I was keen to see what these little things would do. Boiling the kettle, filling up our tea-cups and dropped the bulb inside. Then watching this bulb slowly open up to reveal a beautiful floral arrangement floating in the Jasmine tea.

I loved our Bloom date night box

For me this date night so far has been one of my most favourites. There was something a little bit different with this one, we learnt a new skill for planting mini succulents and really enjoyed it. In fact I enjoyed it so much that I am on the look out for a beautiful much larger terrarium to plant up and design. It is so much fun having these date night boxes delivered to us each month, we are able to enjoy some quality time together and do something a bit different.

*Thank you Just Us Box for sending me out this fabulous date night box to review. I cannot wait to see what arrived in the post next month. As always thoughts and opinions are my own.*