Sometimes, as a sane and rational woman, it can feel like some people are intentionally making the dating world a lot more toxic and tough for the rest of us. People playing games ruins not just relationships for them, but the whole culture and language of dating for the rest of us. If you’re sick of the mind games, how can you date without them? Here are a few tips to help you enjoy romance, affection, and attention, without worrying about having to play along with some game that you hate.
Forget any advice that sounds like it came from a movie
“Wait three days before you get in touch.” “Make him come chase you.” “Lie about yourself to project the image of what you think they want.” A lot of people have gotten some pretty awful advice from movies, especially romantic comedies. It’s time to put all of that out of your head. Life doesn’t play out like a movie. Communication and earnestness are always two of the best predictors of a good relationship.
Know your red flags
A sense of mystery is fun because you begin to discover more about a date as you get to know them. However, it becomes less fun when mystery and a lack of openness is, in fact, their main personality trail. You should get to know your own deal-breakers and red flags to pay attention to. This can be a difference in values, any signs of controlling or even potentially aggressive behaviour, as well as a lack of any kind of interest in physical attraction. You don’t need dating to be a puzzle.
Go for some no-nonsense dating
Do you feel like it’s hard to escape the games when it comes to dating apps and other modern ways of meeting people? Then perhaps you might benefit from an approach that’s a little more old school. Speed dating is not a lot of fun, but it also cuts away a lot of the fluff of the dating world. If someone’s playing games, they have to play it quickly and it’s very easy to see. Otherwise, you get a limited amount of time to see if there’s genuine chemistry there that you can pick up on later.
Know what you want
Sometimes, it’s not the fault of the other that there are games going on. If you don’t know what you want from dating, then it’s very to commit many of the sins mentioned above, blowing hot and cool, dating people you’re not really interested in, and so on. Once you know what you want from dating, it’s a lot easier to seek it out specifically and to avoid casually slipping into the kind of dating game behaviour that’s ruining the experience for so many people who do know what they want.
Of course, no one is a “sure thing” until you have the time to really get to know them. However, the tips above can help you keep your dating life game-free.