Have You Chosen The Right Reason For Your Divorce?

If you have exhausted all other options and your relationship just isn’t working, you may decide to file for divorce. This is a big decision to make and it’s important that you think carefully about it before you go ahead. If you haven’t tried things like marriage counselling before, you should go down that route before you file for divorce.

When you do file for divorce, you have to give a reason for it and a lot of people don’t realise this. The reason that you choose makes a big difference so it’s important that you think carefully about it. In some countries, you can file for no fault divorce, but that isn’t an option here. In fact, there are only 5 accepted reasons for a divorce and it’s important that you understand what they are and which you should choose. 

Right Reason For Your Divorce

What Are The Acceptable Reasons For Divorce?

The first acceptable reason for divorce is unfaithfulness. In cases where your spouse has cheated on you, it’s easy to choose the reason. It strengthens your case during the divorce and there is a clear reason for the split. 

Desertion is another reason that you can put on the divorce papers and, again, this is quite a simple one. If your partner leaves you and moves out with the intention of ending the relationship and they are living outside the marital home, that is a legitimate reason for divorce. 

Separation is also considered a reason for divorce and it is broken into two categories. A mutual separation must last for at least 2 years or a separation must last for 5 years if one of you doesn’t agree to the divorce.   

The final reason that you can use is unreasonable behaviour and that can get a little more confusing. If your partner is behaving in such a way that you can’t be realistically expected to live with them anymore, that is considered grounds for divorce. 

How Do You Choose A Reason?

The problem with this system is that those 5 reasons don’t cover things like couples that fall out of love or situations where one person wants to move to another country for work and the other doesn’t. They don’t account for the complex nature of relationships and there are some situations where choosing a reason can be tough, but it’s very important that you make the right choice

Sometimes, it’s easy because a partner has been unfaithful or they have deserted you, but in other cases, you need to find the best possible fit. Often, if you don’t know what to put as the reason, you may need to put unreasonable behaviour, even if that doesn’t really cover it. Your spouse will be less likely to defend the divorce if you use this reason but you will have to prove to the judge that the marriage has broken down. 

Regardless of what reason you choose, that last part is very important. If you can’t realistically prove that your partner is behaving unreasonably or you accuse them of adultery without any actual evidence that it happened, your divorce may not be granted.

Simple Steps to Help Your Relationship Grow

We all want our relationships to be picture perfect at all times. But at the end of the day, this isn’t something that many couples experience. We’re all human and this means there are inevitable bumps along the road that can lead to arguments, fall outs or relationships dwindling and fizzling out. Sometimes this is because people are simply incompatible. But sometimes, perceived problems can actually be figured out and you and your partner can grow from it. Here are just a few different things you can do to help your relationship grow and stay on the right path.

Steps to Help Your Relationship Grow

Set Boundaries

Boundaries can help relationships to grow at a steady rate, allowing room for you both to have your own space and to adjust being part of a couple. It’s important that you communicate your boundaries with your partner on an ongoing basis. This will help you to avoid rubbing each other up the wrong way and can prevent a whole lot of arguments as time passes.

Make Sure You’re On the Same Page

It’s important to make sure that you’re both on the same page in various ways. It’s important that you both want the same thing – whether that’s casual dating, a relationship, marriage, kids, or anything else. If you don’t agree on basic fundamentals, things can quickly go downhill. It’s best to be aware of one another’s wants and needs early on in order to ensure you can make a good match.

Consider Couples Therapy

If you find that you’re having troubles in any aspect of your relationship, couples therapy can help. Whether that’s marriage counselling, couples sex therapy, or anything else. These sessions place you and your partner in a neutral setting and can give you the opportunity to talk things out with professional guidance providing insight into your behaviours. Most people report that couples therapy helps them and their partner to iron out problems, grudges and other negative behaviour.

Continue to Make an Effort

A problem in many relationships is that people begin to take their partner for granted and stop making an effort. This shouldn’t be the case. You should always treat your partner at least in the same way you did when you were pursuing them at the start of the relationship. If anything, your efforts should increase as you grow to love them more! So, don’t let things dwindle. Give them nice surprises. Make sure they know you’re thinking about them. Offer them support. Listen to them. Encourage them in their interests and passions. Make dates. Go on dates. Keep things exciting!

These are just a few different things you can do that will help your relationship to grow. If you’re interested in making something serious of your current relationship, or you simply want to maintain a strong relationship and keep things going in the right direction, these simple steps can make all the difference!

Getting social in February

Well February is turning out to a busy month for me, our life always seems to be busy during the winter. As much as I love it, it then doesn’t hold out much hope for the rest of the year.

getting social

January has become a month where we go out for dinner with in brother-in-laws their gorgeous girl friends and their Aunty and Uncle who we are all really close too. It has been happening for the last 6 years and is something we all look forward too. The brother’s birthdays are all in January and early February so that is how it started.

Getting social in February

But February, wow, we have got meals and lunches booked all over the place. It’s my Hubby’s birthday along with his younger brother at the start of the month, so this weekend we are off out for dinner as a group of 4, (the older brother is away in London, but he was invited). We have a baby sitter.. woohoo!

Next week we have an evening meal out with my Dad, who now lives 3 hours away in Surrey, so he is coming up for a couple of nights. He has offered to take us all out for dinner, so we are heading to the village pub for dinner.

The following weekend, we have valentines day, so that will be a meal at home, normally the trusty M&S meal deal. Then shock horror we are having a take away with my mother in law and the brothers, partners and the children. It’s a once a year deal, we don’t really have meals with my mother in law, although we do see them a lot it’s more a cuppa and putting the political world to rights….. often resulting in needing a gin after.

Then it’s my birthday… woohoo! I think we might head to York for the day. It’s one of my favourite places to visit for the day. Although we haven’t been since we moved house, so it’s now just over 2 hours for us to get there. But with a full day out, will mean another meal out.

The weekend after we have been invited to my father-in-laws house for Sunday lunch, again with my brother-in-laws. My Hubby also has 3 step brothers and a step sister, plus their partners and children. At the moment there is 20 of us with the four children and 9 dogs! It’s busy at the father-in-laws when we are all together. But Sunday lunch is just us, the 2 brothers, girlfriends and the children, which will be nice. We have full family get togethers when we are get outside for the extra space!

My last night out is with a group of friends, celebrating my besties new job! She has landed her dream job working in London and I couldn’t be prouder! So I am staying over at hers so we can all enjoy a meal out and drinks after.

My month is super busy and I cannot remember having so many plans just one month since having children. But it is really nice to have things to look forward to.

Now what am I going to wear?